Auckland proved to be quite a different situation more formative. more demanding and in the end radically altering the equilibrium of life.
Academically it was decided to try to gain entry to Auckland Grammar School in order to gain access to the favored Form 6A class which would provide a good
academic preparation for going on to Auckland University. In the end I emerged from the class in position No 5, a somewhat deceptive situation as my strengths lay
in the English sections rather than in the Mathematics. In retrospect it would have been wiser to have stayed on another year in the High School to gain a much better
grasp of Mathematics. Position No 5 looked well and on to Auckland University I went.
Academics had been taken care of but the needed social adjustment to another level of life was lagging. Taking courses for an Engineering
preliminary turned out to be a very mixed situation. In two of them Chemistry and Physics passes were obtained. Not very brilliant ones but sufficient to meet the
demands. Mathematics proved to be a disaster which was not remedied even by repeating the next year. By the end of the second year I knew I was looking failure
in the face so took some desperate steps to get out of the situation.
Time now to divert into the question of spiritual development. Gladys used to argue that there was never a time when she did not believe so to talk
of a traumatic conversion experience was largely irrelevant. My situation would be similar. In order to meet the demands of the prevailing dogmatics it was important
to have a time when you were 'Saved'. Testimonies needed to be given of some time when you made the individual decision and moved from being a sinner into the
acceptance of salvation.
In my own experience this was not really a big issue. I had never really rebelled against the God of my Fathers. We were not avid church goers nor
zealots for the religious things of the denomination during our youthful years. Rather we grew up in a healthy environment in which faith was an integral part of life
dominant in the sense the Bible was a basic guide to practice but not overpowering. Life has other facets and interests which were important and to be engaged in
with enjoyment and enthusiasm.
Arrival in Auckland brought all this to a much sharper focus. Life at the Church was now much more dominant than it had been during those years
in Lower Hutt. We were now introduced to a much more demanding form of spiritual experience. Questions of commitment which were latent previously became
much more dominant. The 'conversion' issue now emerged as question of who was Lord rather than who was Savior. Jesus as Savior was not an issue; this was
something almost assumed and not really questioned as there had been no real questioning about putting your faith in Jesus. This was more the fabric of life rather
than an issue to be grappled with. The question of Lordship now focused on baptism. For many in the group baptism was not a traumatic event but rather a step
along a well defined pathway to acceptance in the wider context of the group. A step to be taken in obedience and faith towards spiritual growth and maturity. By
being baptised you were now accepted into the wider group and able to take part in the important rituals of communion and responsibility for teaching Sunday School
or other chores related to the fellowship. For many this was the climax of their early growth where they reached a plateau from where they may move on or just
remain for the rest of their lives.
For me this was a much bigger event. For the first time in my life a question of who is Lord emerged. I was unwilling to just go through the rituals. In
a somewhat pietistic way I insisted that the Lord should speak to me about this. The jargons of the group talked in these terms and they ought to be real. A continuing
struggle what went on for some years later with relationship to the Communion and all the folk lore associated with it.
Finally the decision was made and I joined others in being Baptized. For many of them this was the end of it they had done what was required and
were now accepted into the wider group to participate fully having undergone the initiation rites. However, this was not so in my case. A larger question emerged as to
how this expression of Lordship was to be understood. What responsibility did it entail and what opportunities did it open up?
During this period we were bombarded with questions about commitment and dedication to the Lord. The Keswick type teaching was strong and
we were attending these conferences and conventions where appeals would be made for dedication to be met by wide spread responses. Again these were often
well meaning ritualistic events for many in the group. But for me such responses were not adequate. Either this dedication was real or it was not. There were to be no
half measures.
There appears in retrospect to be little doubt that I imbibed the current folk lore of that day thinking that the only real form of dedication that had
depth and meaning was to be in Full time work and service. Outwardly I may have projected a low self image not being highly demanding but inwardly I had a high
opinion of my own ability and self worth. In contrast to many I had high self discipline. Self study was not a difficulty but rather a challenge I could meet.
Life would have been a lot easier if a more relaxed attitude toward it could have been taken. But I was one of those over serious individuals who
could not escape so easily. Everything was attended with a seriousness and rigid examination. Decisions were carefully weighed up with their future consequences
and present fallout carefully screened through.
Some time was bought by opting out of the University and going into a Government drafting office. From a job slot point of view this was not very
satisfactory as the training offered was perfunctory. The Public Works Department recruited more juniors than it had training ability to handle leaving much of the day
to be spent in idleness. Just when we would be turned into draftsmen I am at a loss even now to know not having followed up the fortunes and experience of others.
In the evenings I enrolled in a course at the Technical School which offered training in the Engineering. Three years later I was looking for a way out as I had not really
grasped much of what they were presenting. My real interests along these lines were in management rather than the technical aspects of engineering. Modelling on
my Father's present position I was better suited and much more interested in the administrative side of the job than these technically important facts. In the world of
that day there was no real management training, the path lay through beginning in one of the disciplines then moving up through it to a place of executive authority.
These type courses designed to turn out technically qualified engineers were of limited value to my interests and certainly in the way they were taught outside of my
real ability to qualify.
For my present program the work slot had the virtue of taking very little of the real energy away. If anything the down side was the boredom which in
itself ate up some energy. Following the closing of the day there was much reserve left over to do other things.
Howard Harper
An important formative influence of these years was a close friendship with Howard Harper who shared similar thinking about the worth and value of
Christian service. Howard had been a rebellious youth giving much travail to his parents by
his boyish pranks. They were not particularly wicked but a real
embarrassment and nuisance particularly to his father who was a very proper gent. So great relief when Howard suddenly turned over a new leaf and then began to
apply his ability and abundant energy to positive Christian outlets. The period of teenage rambunctious ness had left Howard with limited education. His answer to
this dilemma was to enroll in the Bible Training Institute following it up later with the orthodoxy of that day which included the Wycliffe Institute training and the Medical
Course both held in Australia.
I could have followed Howard into the Bible Training Institute but this had little appeal to my free spirit. My sense of rebellion against the
establishment was not expressed as Howard's had been but it was deep nevertheless. To me the period spent in the Bible College with its enforced arbitrary
disciplines and stereotyped learning had little interest and doubtful value. So I stayed out and away while Howard ground through the courses the cold showers and
other prescriptions required to duly qualify.
What was done with Howard was to pursue a close friendship and also to join with him and some others in a Gospel Outreach Team. Included in
this was the Hallelujah Wagon a light truck of doubtful antecedents and ability run only at the weekends and maintained by me principally with very limited knowledge
of mechanical workings and very tight budget. Most of the time it had to be pushed to start hence the term Hallelujah but once off it went with a roar. Howard had
gained some expertise in presentations by drawing or pictures which we used as a type of flash card in open air meeting principally with children on beaches around
Auckland. Decked out in our Sunday suits and ties we would descend on the beach gather what children there were around and present the Gospel to them. In many
ways it was a lot of fun and games but it did serve as a means of making us known and gave us experience in working together. I am not sure how much of the real
Gospel was communicated in this manner but such endeavors did have the backing of the establishments as worthy activities for young men keen to serve the Lord.
Another reluctantly accepted ministry of those days was to go to the local Park and seek to persuade a group of fellow who were hanging out there
that they should come to the Gospel Meeting being held in the nearby Hall. A number of times we did succeed in getting this crowed in usually at about 07.30 a half
hour into the formal service. They would listen for sometime and then when bored go out again. All very disruptive for the formal locals who were into their evening
Gospel Meeting.
In time a more enlightened approach was developed which had them invited for a cup of tea something to eat. It was all earnest and well meaning
but quite uninformed. Later on when this concept was more developed the back hall was decked out in Coffee Shop style and a more contemporary approach developed.
Our contribution was to highlight this need and show the bankruptcy of the present approach to do much for the youth of that day.
